Golden Rule in Childraising

The Golden Rule in Childraising by Rabbi Moshe Feinstein z''tl
excerpt from Darash Moshe Vol.2 - artscroll (page 123)

"Hashem said to Moshe, I have seen this people, and behold! It is a stiff-necked people" Shmos Ki Sisa
It is apparent from the text that Hashem considers being stiff necked
a negative attribute. This is difficult to understand, for historically, this characteristic has served us well. Because we are stiff-necked people, we are slow to be seduced by the ways of the gentile nations. It is therefore just this attribute that has prevented us from assimilating with the gentiles over the many years of galus. What is it about being stiff necked that Hashem finds undesirable?

The answer is that Hashem does not wish our mitzvos to be done out of stubborness. When we do a mitzvah, Hashem wants it to be done out of joy, with all our heart and soul. Only in this way will we be successful in training our children to follow in our footsteps. If children see that a mitzvah is a burdensome chore only to be fullfilled after much perseverance and effort, they will wish to have no part of it.

If however, on the other hand, they are taught that a mitzvah is a thing of great beauty and worth, to be done with joy and happiness, they too will look forward to involving themselves in the Torah and its commandments. It is for this reason that Hashem despises this attribute. For although it may occasionally result in some short term good, the long term threat to the perpetuation of Torah is too great to be ignored.